Happy Mindful Monday!
When it comes to our goals, why are we so hard on ourselves?
Why do we lose 10 pounds, are happy about this for a day or two, then gain it all right back again?
It’s because our motivation is rooted in fear, which yields only a temporary result. Why? Because fear lends itself to self-destruction. This is all it ultimately knows. It is volatile. It is the opposite of love.
Success and fear are strangers, and they always will be.
If we are only use fear to motivate ourselves to go to the gym or eat healthy foods, we will not sustain those healthy habits for long.
Fear is actually one of our two main sources of pain, (the other being experiencing a state of lack) and we as humans tend to avoid pain, so using fear to self–motivate has our minds associating healthy habits with pain. Because of this, eventually our minds will opt to avoid these.
In so doing, we have set up the quintessential hamster wheel of mental self-sabotage. We get a brief taste of the carrot we chase, the golden reward of weight loss, and then retreat back. And then we push forward and get another small taste. Then we retreat back again. And on and on our insanity goes, until our body cannot take the yo-yo-ing anymore and eventually decides to refuse compliance, unresponsive to any and all stimuli.
And what is it that we fear anyway? Here is where a very practical law of science comes into play.
We fear that we won’t accomplish the goal. That we will fall short, put ourselves out there, make the effort, and never see the reward. This is our first fear. (Strangely enough, we don’t seem to fear the temporary reward, even though that has far more severe psychological and physical long-term repercussions.)
Our second fear is that we won’t ever do the work in the first place. Our second fear is that we are inherently lazy, and this causes us to distrust our ability to get the job done.
Ipso facto, we are fearful of our own potential for non-action.
In the end, we fear us. We are scared of ourselves. Our own success AND our own capacity to fail. We take failure sooo seriously. We are so terrified to fail! Also, since the light, pleasure-filled feeling of success is rather foreign to most of us, we end up fearing that unknown feeling as well.
But it is all us. These feelings are all our feelings. Not some external thing, they are all part of our own being.
The lean, fit, success-breeding ‘us.’
The fat, defeated, failure ‘us.’
We encapsulate all of it within our being, whether we like it or not. This is ‘us’ and what we are made of is the stuff of our fears and our desires.
Back to science. The Law of Science that will get us out fear serving as our chief source of motivation is called the Conservation of Mass. I am sure you have heard of it. It states that matter (energy) in an encapsulated system cannot be created or destroyed.
Essentially, we can make nothing and we can destroy nothing. We can only change the vibration of the energy, the matter, that makes us, us.
What does this mean?
It means that we have already succeeded, and we have already failed. We cannot get rid of any part of us, and we cannot create anything new. That is such a relief! It relieves much pressure.
We cannot fear ourselves, knowing this, we can only be.
Sure, we can alter our current state, we can mold our current physical form. And we cannot fail in doing this, because failure comes from lack. A state of lack means to have a piece missing, an essential part of the process not available to us. But as the Law of the Conservation of Mass states, everything has already been made available to us. We are everything we need. Since we are everything, meaning that all the tools are at our disposal, we can do anything.
So you see, we have absolutely nothing to fear. We can succeed in becoming AND staying fit and healthy if we lead without fear. If we act from a not a fear-filled state, but a rather full-supported state.
This is what is true. We are fully supported, being everything that we need. This is your body, my dear, lovely friend, do not be scared of it. Further, everything you desire, you already are. It may be in a different form, you may be desiring to mold and tweak the energy mass that makes up the physical you, but the fear that arises from a state of lack is not real. It is an illusion.
You have no lack. You are not less than. You are NOT not enough. It is quite the contrary and the Law of the Conservation of Mass tells us so.
Physically: you have what you need to create what you want, be that fat into muscle, fat into fuel, a six-pack, tight, toned legs, arms, back, butt and so forth.
Mentally: you have everything you need. If you desire additional knowledge on fitness and nutrition, you have everything you need to seek out and obtain that knowledge.
Emotionally: Well, we just cleared this one up, didn’t we? No more illusory state of lack. Trust me when I tell you, it is truly not the chiseled, hot body that you seek! It is the feeling of happiness that comes with it.
Stop trying to lose weight out of desperation, guilt, shame, revenge or any of the other emotions that are fear and lack–based.
Choose to re-wire yourself instead. It will seem foreign and new and weird at first. And most of society will not be able to level up with you [yet].
That is okay. Be the healthy example your loved ones need to see. Be the inspiration of self-love and self-honor and self-peace the world needs you to be.
Here’s how to do this:
You eat something healthy: Say, “I am eating this because I love myself, my body, and I desire to nourish it with beautiful, life-giving food.”
You workout: Say, “I am moving my body because I love and cherish it. I sweat to honor my physical form and all of the wonderful things it does for me on a daily basis.”
You get adequate rest: Say, “I go to sleep each night at a reasonable time to ensure my body fully recovers each night. My body works miracles for me throughout each day, therefore it only makes sense that I devote the time it needs to rest and rejuevenate.”
Don’t feel like saying all of this? Say it anyway. Say it in your own language, out loud to yourself and I promise things will start to shift.
Trust this process. Shift from fear of self to love of self. Remember that science is backing your process. It backs your fearlessness.
Who you are, what you are will be conserved no matter what, no matter what form it takes. More of you cannot be created and none of you can be destroyed. Rest safely in that thought, as you have already succeeded. Yes, you are already all that you are. Take on another form, perhaps, but you will still be you, so there is absolutely nothing to fear.
You see there is nothing actually unknown about any of this. You are you, you know you better than anyone, and you are something, someone, to be supported, loved and honored, not feared.
I love you, dear friend. Go after your goals with absolute fearlessness and total self-love. There is quite simply no other way that makes sense! Science has spoken, and it has told us that this is so. :) :)
Have a wonderful day and I hope to see you soon.