(This blog was originally published on January 26, 2015 at LianPrice.com.)
Hey Fit Gang!
Today’s email focuses in on dealing with a member of your household who is either intentionally or unintentionally undercutting your weight loss efforts.
More times than not it’s the latter. People don’t usually plot the demise of someone’s fitness future. That would be really weird.
So, let’s talk about the unintentional undercutting. This could be in response to:
a) The person’s own insecurities.
b) The person’s wishes for you to “stop ruining their good time,” i.e., not wanting to order pizza every other night for dinner, or wanting to get a good night’s sleep on a Wednesday instead of going out for a few brewskis. Sometimes a person who fits in this category will say to you, “I wish you could just go back to being the way you were.”
c) The person simply does not have the same interests as you, which would be totally be fine, except for the fact that in this case, for whatever reason, they choose not to respect your time or space.
d) Any other miscellaneous reasons why, at this time, the person is choosing selfishness over compromise. Or another way to put it, they are putting their needs and desires before yours. He or she acts as if there is not enough room for both of you to follow your own interests.
This could be a spouse, (or boyfriend/girlfriend whom you live with,) parent, sibling, close friend or other type of roommate.
I get it, it sucks. You are trying really hard to create a new, fit lifestyle for yourself, and it seems the other person in your home is hell–bent on jeopardizing that. So what to do? How do you keep the tension in your household at bay and still get results from your fitness and nutrition regimen?
Tactic #1 DON’T PREACH
The last thing your unfit roommate(s) wants to hear about is how they fall short. You may not mean to come off that way, but all they are going to hear when you try to inform them about your new–found fitness discoveries is how much they are failing in this area of their life. Nobody likes to listen to that. Not to sound harsh, but here is the bottom line on this tactic:
Shut your mouth. Lead by example.
Tactic #2 DON’T BE A SPARTAN
The first reason why you shouldn’t try to live like a Spartan is because I am 97% sure it will not last. If your diet is such that you can’t see yourself following it in 3 years (i.e., not sustainable) then you need to re-think your current methods. Now, let’s say you ARE following a reasonable game plan, and you find yourself getting anxiety whenever unhealthy food is offered to you, or is simply hanging around your house. Have peace of mind knowing that a small amount of decadence is not going to destroy your future results, as long as you allot for it in your daily overall intake.
For instance, if you reeeeeeally want a piece of pizza, have it, and then stay on track by having less grams fat and carbohydrates during your next meal. This way, you continue to appear normal and rational to your roommate, he or she doesn’t feel ostracized or scorned in any way, and you get to relax because you satisfied a craving AND are staying on track and continuing to lose weight.
Relax and stay on track. No harm, no foul.
Tactic #3 GO OUTSIDE
Plan an activity for the two of you to enjoy that doesn’t revolve around eating. Now, I am NOT telling you to take your roommate on a vertical climb up your local black diamond hiking trail, or drag them kicking and screaming to your killer CrossFit class. Instead, try taking said roommate to the park, to a beginner yoga class, roller skating, canoeing or to a tennis court or golf course to hit some balls. It doesn’t matter as long as it something you both will enjoy.
Similar results yielded here as those promised in Tactic #2: you appear normal and rational, you two get to spend some quality time together, causing the other party to feel like you haven’t ditched them afterall. They no longer believe you are acting “too good to spend time with them.” PLUS, you still stay on track with your goals and enjoy life as well, all in the same, outdoorsy breath.
Go be have active and fun together.
If you have this issue in your life right now, let me know if these tactics helped you. If by chance, YOU are actually the unhealthy roommate, remember this: they are doing something good for their health and their future, and they may be dying to share that quest with you. Can’t fault them for that right?
Try putting your ego aside, keep an open mind and hear them out. If you disagree or feel they are going about their health goals the wrong way, then have a discussion about it. Together, you two can help each other and may end up being a serious accountability force to reckon with!
Feel free to comment below! I would love to hear your thoughts.
Happy Tuesday! Talk soon
In Good Health,