(This blog was originally published on July 8, 2015 at LianPrice.com.)
An online client said something to me on the phone last Thursday that I will never forget. It hit me like a brick to the stomach.
She was in the middle of telling me how all of her clothes fit better, she has more energy and she feels so much more confident now in her own body.
Then, in an off-handed manner, she said: “I realized yesterday that I haven’t called myself a fat, ugly cow in two whole months.”
“What?!” I exclaimed. “What did you call yourself before??”
She explained: when she used to get dressed, look in the mirror, or even finish a meal, in her head she’d call herself a fat, ugly cow. Now that she’s started weight training 3x per week, is eating super healthy, and has consequently slimmed down quite a bit, she feels much better about herself. The increased self-confidence disabled that negative self-talk mechanism in her brain, and thank goodness!
I told her I was so happy to hear this, and let’s do whatever we can to make sure she NEVER talks this way to herself again.
My own shocked response surprised me, I reflected. It was weird because I KNOW how common this inner dialogue is, both with women and with men. I KNOW people say things like this about themselves all the time.
Doesn’t matter. The logical side of my brained short-fused for a hot second and my heart got in the way.
I started thinking. A person who knows their value would NEVER speak to themselves like this.
Yet for so many of us, we launch these personal insults at ourselves all the time, and we can’t seem to control it or make it stop.
Why do we crush our own spirits on a daily basis?
Why do we continue to scold ourselves for being fat?
Scream on the inside for not being perfect yet?
Gag at the sight we see in the mirror,
and mentally wear ourselves down to the nails,
all before we’ve left the house each morning?
It’s certainly not our logical, left brain operating at the helm here.
Our logic always will tell us this is a counter-productive waste of time.
A total energy suck.
A devastating inhibitor to all of the endeavors we go after in life.
But the things is, we’ve already formed the habit. And oh, is it ever so hard to break.
So how did my client do it? She replaced her bad habit with healthy habits. Her bad habit, calling herself a “fat, ugly cow” every day, didn’t stand a chance. That’s the thing with subconscious habits. They WILL not be broken until we replace them with new habits. We must show our sub-conscious that changes are being made now, and those self-defeating comments are no longer relevant.
We have to prove to OURSELVES, (NOT the rest of the world) that “fat, ugly cow” is an inaccurate statement, and there is only one thing that will effectively assure our sub-conscious brain of this.
That is plain, old-fashioned hard work.
So make time for it. Make time to create and sustain new lifestyle habits. Initially, it will feel like hard work. Because guess what? It is. That is the price you are going to have to pay for being lazy with your thoughts and for your lack of action.
But it WILL pay off. I WILL become intuitive. It WILL become second–nature on a sub-conscious level.
Be patient with yourself. Give it a couple of months, like my client did. In my opinion, her physical results are secondary in value. Now that her mind’s right, (and since the mind controls the body,) she can get as lean and fit as she wishes.
With her thoughts back under her control, she’s got her confidence, and her self-worth back.
She has re-issued her value to her own psyche. That is the truest blessing. That is the biggest reward.
Have a great day FitFam, and remember, control your own thoughts about yourself and go put the work in, so that you can see and feel the positive, healthy result of a fit body and a sound mind!
In Good Health,