Happy thoughtful Thursday my thoughtful friend! :)
Last week I asked a client if she desired deeper connection with her body.
I thought the answer I was about to hear was, “Of course!”
Instead, she said the thought of connecting with her body on a deeply conscious level totally terrified her.
I was taken aback by her response, but then I suddenly realized: her current truth was something I intimately understood.
I knew how she felt because I had been there.
Avoidance IS so much easier. It can be terrifying to finally attempt reconnection after so long. She was right.
Take this example: Imagine you make an awesome dinner one night. There are leftovers, which are put in a bowl, covered with a lid and thrown in the fridge.
A week goes by and you completely forget about them.
You simply have other priorities. You end up going out to eat a bunch of times that week. There also end up being some late nights at the office. Before you know the week has flown by.
When you finally remember that those leftovers are still in the fridge waiting (and by this point they have been pushed all the way to the back because you needed room to store other items) you think, “Eww, I don’t want to eat those now. They’re probably moldy and gross.”
You know what you should do. You should be proactive, move the other items out of the way, reach allllll the way to the back of your fridge, retrieve those forsaken leftovers, and dump them out. That would be the responsible, sanitary thing to do.
But that sounds like a lot of work at the moment right? Besides, what if the lid slips off or you lose your grip? You’re wearing a brand new outfit right now and you don’t want to risk getting it soiled. Ehhh. You’ll do it tomorrow.
Except the next day you stay late at work again. You had trouble sleeping the night before (probably because you were having bad dreams about moldy food chasing you down the street ;-)) and your boss sent you a nasty email, blaming you for something you didn’t do. So when you finally get home, the last thing you feel like doing is cleaning moldy food out of a bowl and taking the trash out.
You stick your nose in the fridge. No noticeable leftover odor yet. Again, ehhh. no one can tell. You’ll do it on Monday. After you get groceries. Fresh start.
Of course, you are so excited about the groceries you buy the following week that once again you forget, and on the story goes.
You’re probably thinking – “What does this have to do with connecting with myself? What does this have to do with looking in the mirror?”
Because getting out of shape is the same thought process as not throwing out your leftovers. It’s avoidance. It’s a “I’ll put it off until tomorrow” mentality. It’s a “Monday is a fresh start” comfort zone, with endless Mondays to push off to.
It is easier to not look in the mirror when you are getting dressed in the morning, because then you don’t have to face your “failure” that you have gotten out of shape. That you have added more body fat to your frame, and are ashamed and embarrassed about this.
It is easier to just shut the refrigerator door. Just like it is easier To shut yourself off from your body so that you don't have to face your failure. This is a real issue this has frozen many of us into inaction at one point or another.
– But the only way out is in. –
That’s right, the only way to lose weight and get in shape is to reconnect with the current shape that stands before you in the mirror. The first step is to just look.
It might be painful, and you might be saddened by what you see and that is okay. What alternative do you have, after all? To just wait longer? To let more time go by? To deny yourself health and happiness, not to mention self-confidence for more weeks, months, or even years?
The second step is to take some action. Don’t wait for the small problem go to become a big problem. Does it have to be a 9-1-1 situation for you to finally take action?
Don’t wait until those leftovers stink up the whole fridge.
Don’t let 10 pounds of extra body fat double into 20. Why would you do that? What is the point? Remember, this is YOUR body, and you have nothing to be afraid of.
It is not going to hurt you, rather, your body wants you to be healthy and happy! He/she is on your team. Your body wants to be deeply connected with you, to tell you everything it needs, and to show you all the ways you can live in daily bliss.
It is beauty and genius in truest form. Oh, how your body is so much wiser than your brain! It will help guide you back to health and vitality if you only let it.
But you have to stop resisting. Resistance is merely energy in another form, ergo what you ignore, fear and resist WILL have no choice but to persist.
Let go. Be okay with that fact that you have let yourself go a bit. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. YOU are going to be okay. Relax and stop resisting. When you are ready, start to exercise, and be gentle. I mean gentle on the ego, on the spirit too. Be kind with your inner dialogue.
Remember that is because you love your body that you are taking action, that you are moving and sweating and grinding and nourishing.
No more self-punishment. You are past that now. This mindset is immature and only brings temporary results.
I have said it before: we MUST honor ourselves at all times. There is NO other way. If we are not honoring ourselves in everything we do, then what are we doing? What is the point?
You can do nothing for me but work on you. I can do nothing for you but work on me. That is all we can ever do. That is how we will build a healthier, more peaceful world.
We must make peace with ourselves first, for in the end our real mirror is simply the world and our perception of it; everything that we see is no more than a reflection of our own internal reality.
If we stop avoiding, and instead look back and smile, our mirror, our reflection, will have no choice but to smile back.
I love you dearly, my friend. Truly I do. Be well, and be good to yourself.
You’ve been through a lot and you deserve it.
See you soon.