Here's My Oh $h%#! Diet



We’ve all been there.

A vacation comes way quicker than we anticipated.

You are asked to wear a bridesmaid’s dress, that, to your disbelief, combines unflattering material with unflattering tailoring in a way you previously didn’t even think was possible.


Or you get invited to an uber–cool event, and it’s just 3 weeks away! The proper attire listed on the invite? “Poolside Chic.”


Well, I had my own Oh $h%#! moment last night.


I am auditioning my new live online boot camp, (which starts March 1st) for Shark Tank. The bottom line is, the original date of the casting call was for April 18th, but as of last night, it has now been moved up to March 30th.


Oh no! How am I going to be ready in time? When I stand in front of the casting director and the show’s producers, I want to be in the best shape of my life. However, I literally just had back surgery 9 weeks ago. What’s a health nut to do?


I’ll tell you what! Clean up that diet! We all know that it is not just exercise, but nutrition that also leads the charge in getting you the super–fit body that you want.


So today’s blog is a little different. I am going to lay out for you every inch of my eating plan right here and now. I think I will do this in Video Form at some point very soon too, so you can see what some of these items look like as well.


Length of Time 5 weeks


Please note: This is simply a tightened up version of what I eat/do everyday anyway, so the transition is more or less seamless.

Here we go.


Monday – Friday

6:30am 16 oz. water

Workout #1 sometime between 8–12pm. 40 minutes.

7:30am 16 oz. water

Sometime between 9am–12pm:

Banana–Spinach Smoothie

(2 ripe bananas, 3 handfuls of fresh spinach, 32 oz. water)

½ cup old–fashioned Quaker oats with 1 T. Grade B Maple Syrup


Between 2:30–5pm:

1 or 2 apples

2 or 3 large carrots

4–6 GF crackers with almond ricotta (Recipe here: )

2 scoops Raw Veggie Protein Powder mixed with glutamine, BCAA’s and MSM Powder and 16 oz. water

1 cup of berries or 1 mango

32 oz. water


Between 5–7:30pm:

One of the following:

4 ears of corn with 1 T. earth balance butter

unlimited brown rice with seasoning, and/or a green vegetable

unlimited black or kidney beans with seasoning, tomato and avocado

1 GF, Dairy–Free frozen pizza per week

Red or French lentils with seasoning and celery

On Tuesdays & Thursdays: Workout #2 happens between 6:30–7:30pm. 30 minutes


Between 8–8:30pm: 16 oz. water

Optional before bed, one of the following:

½ oz. dark chocolate

½ one 16 oz. bottle of Kombucha

1 oz. of Miyoko’s Kitchen Vegan Mozzarella wrapped in fresh basil leaves and a few olives

3 T. hemp seed


Asleep by 9:30pm



Workout at 9am

Raw all day, skip dinner. (This is a IF-in reverse day for me, if you will)



Rest day, no workout.

1 Cheat meal for brunch or dinner, which will include vegan nachos, soy or seitan-based imitation meats, a cinnamon bun from Cinnaholic (OMG egg–free dairy–free design-your-own donuts. CAN YOU EVEN.) or vegan gelato that my neighbor makes from scratch using rice milk. The rest of the day looks similar to Saturday, minus the Whiskey.



2 nights: Wine Wednesdays (I host girls’ night at my house each week) and Saturday nights usually involve 1 or 2 of the following concoction:

1 oz. Knob Creek whiskey

6 oz. coconut water

½ of one fresh-squeezed lime



Kcals 1700–2800 per day

Water intake 1 gallon per day

Sodium 600–1100 mg per day

Macros All you macro nerds out there, can go ahead and do the math if you wish. But it’s a rough 50/25/25 split.

Workouts per week 7, with each session lasting 30-40 min.

Days with double sessions 2

Rest days 1, with an additional day including only 1 very light workout, such as a brisk walk, roller blading, or easy swim.

Hours of sleep per night 9

Projected result 6 lbs. lost, with an add-on of almost 1 lb. of muscle.


Snapshot of Weekly Grocery List

5 apples
14++ bananas
1 small bag of large carrots
1 wheel of Kite Hill almond ricotta
1 box of GF crackers
1 large bunch of basil
1 large bunch of cilantro
3 limes
5+ tomatoes
2 boxes of spinach
4 ears of corn
1 bag of flash frozen green peas
1 small box of black or kidney beans
1 GF, Dairy–Free pizza, Daiya or Sprouts brand
2 bottles of kombucha
1 liter bottle of Taste Nirvan coconut water
1 glob (LOL) of Miyoko’s Mozz

*Please also note that some items, like Quaker oats, olives, dark chocolate and hemp seeds I have stocked piled a bunch of and won’t need to buy more of before April.

Cost per grocery shop approximately $78 per week.


And that’s it. This is my 5–week game plan to crush the Shark Tank audition.

I don’t know if this diet is right for you or not. This is a highly personalized game plan I built for me. And hey, your taste buds are not my taste buds (shock and horror, you may not fancy whiskey! You may be more of a ‘tini girl or a scotch dude.) J And that’s okay. Because there is one thing in this game planwe ALL CAN benefit from, aside from lots of good sleep of course:


If you would work out with me for the entire month of March, you can. You can join me live on Google Hangouts on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturday mornings, as well as have my recorded workout links sent straight to your inbox, 7 days a week, for the WHOLE month of March. I am not kidding. I would love to have you with me on my Shark Tank journey.  


The cost for this for the whole month of March is just $19. Use promo code MARCH19 at checkout.

I have never offered anything like this, and I am so excited.

And you know what? I think Mark Cuban, Barbara Corcoran and Mr. Wonderful will be too :)

For the entire month of March, I am talking the EXACT same sculpting, fat–burning, intense workouts I am doing, which will get me to my goal while at the same time protect and shield my low back from any further issues.

So what happens after March? If you love the workouts, great! I am not certainly stopping. Never have, never will. The regular unlimited month-to-month membership is $57. You can cancel your memebership at any time, and it is easy to do so. I made sure of this when I created the site, as this is an important factor for me whenever I am looking to join something.

For all the info:

Also, check out the FAQ section for a solid rundown. If you still have questions, you need to email me. Why? Because I am aways here for you, and I want to do anything I can to help you reach your goals, just like I am trying to reach mine.

We are in this together.

If we can reach our goals together, we can thrive together, which is what life is all about. There is no good in being successful if you are only successful alone.

There is no joy in that.

“In serving each other, we become free.” –Moses Kgosibodiba

Let me know how I may further serve you :) 

Have a beautiful day. Love,